


Sinner and the Saint

by lightningbugqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby, Cas reads minds, Dean has a homosexual awakening, Driving, Fluff, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Angst, and loves cuddles, cursing, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningbugqueen/pseuds/lightningbugqueen
Summary: Dean and Cas are driving. Cuddles, realizations, confessions, and kisses ensue.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Sinner and the Saint

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy. I tried out more cursing in this one, but I'm not much for cursing myself so no promises on how good/believable it will be. :)

The hunt had gone nicely. Well, as nicely as taking down a nest of over 10 vamps could go. Sam and Jack had volunteered to do cleanup duty, and since there was no need for Dean and Cas to stick around, they had hopped in Baby and started the journey home. No matter how much Cas loved these drives with Dean in his beloved car, out of state cases were starting to get more and more tiresome for the brothers. Cas was even in need of a good four hours, which was a very rare occurrence for an angel. They sat in that familiar, comfortable silence, human and angel, hunter and warrior, sinner and saint. At least, that was what people called them. Cas didn’t see it like that. Dean wasn’t just a human, he was so much more than a hunter, more a saint than a sinner. Dean was the beacon of light that guided Cas through Hell. He was the dazzling smile that made this life worth it, the spark of life that thawed the cold, the magnificent being that Cas rebelled for, that Cas fought for, that Cas died for. And he didn’t regret any of it, because Dean, his Dean, made it all worth while. Of course, Dean would never really be his. His best friend, yes. His, no.  
Cas really was tired, so he tried to situate himself in a way that was comfortable for him, but not uncomfortable for Dean. Cas was always conscious of how Dean was feeling, he couldn’t fathom even causing him discomfort. Cas would give anything to simply lay his head on Dean’s shoulder, or in his lap, but he knew that wouldn’t happen. That would be crossing the line drawn with “buddy”s, shoulder pats, and “brother”s. So, he just positioned his head against the window, and closed his eyes. He continued to twitch, shuffle, and situate himself until Dean finally had enough,   
“Dude. Just put your head in my lap or something. All this moving is driving me nuts.” Cas could barely contain the smile that split his face, but as soon as his head stilled on Dean’s legs, the worries started back. It was going to be that much harder to hide his feelings for Dean if domestic things like this kept happening. Cas may not be the best at interpreting human social cues, but he knew what crossed the line of friendship. He was fairly certain that putting one’s head in the lap of another meant “more than friends”, as Sam had said once. Cas did his best to silence these thoughts, closing his eyes, and slowing his breathing. He focused on the things around him, Dean’s quiet breaths, the rumble of the Impala, and the leather of the seat beneath him. After an hour of Cas doing his best to remain completely still, but never quite falling asleep, he heard Dean start talking. It was very odd, for Cas was fairly certain Dean thought him asleep, and no one else was in the car. Dean started with little mutterings, about Sam, or Jack, or how he was going to wash Baby when they returned. It occurred to Cas that these sentences sounded very similar to the ones that Cas heard when Dean accidentally prayed to him. But soon, Dean’s words became more like he was actually talking to Cas, and at the same time one of his hands found it’s way into Cas’ hair.   
“You know Cas, this past hunt scared me more than I told you guys. I never tell you when something scares me, even though I should. I hate using bait. Putting someone in danger so you can catch the bad guy? Damn it Cas, why do we do that? No, I know, it’s better than leaving the vamps to hurt more people, but still. I just hate it. I know it won’t do any good to tell you all this, you can’t hear me, but maybe that’s why. Wouldn’t everything be better with no consequences? No, then people could do bad things then get away with them. Anyway, I was saying that I hated this hunt. And bait. Just, seeing you walk in that barn, unarmed, fucking terrified me. I know you’re an angel, you can smite them all, but still. I can’t lose you. Not again” At this point Cas understood what was happening, and had to stop himself from getting up to comfort Dean. But Cas knew that wasn’t what he needed. He needed to get everything off his chest, and if Cas showed Dean that he was awake, he would be upset. But that comment, that Dean thought about losing Cas, hurt.   
“You matter too much to me, Cas. You, Sam, Jack. You’re my family” that word, family, had begun to hurt Cas. Yes, Dean loved him, but not the way Cas wanted him to. But Dean just continued, unaware of the very awake turmoil going on in Cas’ mind.  
“I’ve lost Sam before, Jack too. It hurt, but I kept living. But….those months when you were gone. Purgatory, the Leviathans, working with Crowely, when you were human, even when you were with Hannah, they were horrible. The idea that I couldn’t see you, couldn’t be near you, couldn’t talk to you…..It was so painful Cas. I drank more during those months than I normally do in a damn year. So please, never leave me again. I love you too much for that.” Cas’ heart stopped. Even though he knew that Dean meant it completely platonically, those words. But, Dean had stopped talking. Correction, Dean had stopped talking in sentences. All Cas could hear now was a constant stream of “Shits!”s, “Hell”s, and one very articulate, “Son of a bitch!” It confused Cas. Dean had said that he loved him before, why was this different? Then he felt a prodding at his grace. A prayer, but a weak one. This generally meant someone was thinking about him, and accidentally praying, but why would that be happening now? Dean had just been talking to him, there was no need for a prayer. But he went ahead and listened anyway. Turned out it was Dean, but not in the way he thought.   
'Shit Fucking Hell! Do I? But…..no. No that’s not possible because I am the straightest man to ever heterosexual. But Cas isn’t a man or a woman. He’s a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent! What does that even mean? Can I love him like that? Does it matter? He doesn’t love me. But I love him. Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit. I fucking love him. Shit.'  
Now, Dean was obviously have a major sexuality crisis, but Cas couldn’t focus on that. Dean loved him. Dean loved him. Dean loved him. So Cas just stayed there, and listened to Dean figure it out.   
'I love him. Of course I do. How could anyone not? He’s smart and kind and loyal and strong and a freaking angel of the Lord. Oh shit. He’s an angel of the lord. Doesn’t God like, not like gay people? But Cas isn’t human. So it doesn’t matter. Also, Chuck’s a jerk. Can angel even feel attraction? I mean, I’m pretty sure Gabe and Balthazar weren’t exactly celibate, but Cas sure is. What if I tell him? Will he hate me?'  
Dean’s thoughts continued like this for a very long time, and Castiel’s reactions to them ranged from practical heart eyes, to righteous fury, to overwhelming pain at Dean’s self doubt. How could his beloved ever think he wasn’t good enough? How could he think Cas wasn’t madly in love with him? Finally, Dean’s though calmed down, and a mantra began in Dean’s head.   
'I love him. He doesn’t love me. I can’t tell him. I don’t know what to do. I’ll figure it out.'  
On and on it went, and Cas could barely keep himself from shooting up and kissing Dean. Kissing him until those awful though disappeared, kissing him until he couldn’t anymore, kissing him until, without a doubt, Dean knew just how far Cas had fallen for him.   
They reached the bunker without Dean saying another word. When Dean got out, Cas remained still, continuing his false slumber. Until, of course, the passenger door opened. Strong arms enveloped Cas’ body, and Dean lifted the angel to his chest, carrying him bridal style. And finally, finally, Cas saw his chance. Right as Dean straightened he mumbled a quiet, calm, “I love you too.”   
Dean froze. Cas slowly opened his eyes, looking up at the beautiful man holding him. Dean was staring at him, eyes wide with fear and….wonder?   
“You heard?” he asked timidly. Cas just nodded and a small smile made its way on his face.   
“All of it” Cas replied, “And uh, your thoughts were prayers.” Dean continued to stare at him.   
“And?” he finally asked.   
“And I love you. And you are the most amazing and kind and beautiful and strong and loving man I know. And I have wished for years that you felt the same way about me that I do you. And I have fallen for you more than once Dean Winchester.” Dean held his gaze, processing what he had said. He slowly let Cas’ feet fall to the floor, and soon Cas was standing directly in front of him. Dean reached out tentatively, and wrapped his hands around Cas’ neck. They continued to stare at each other, Cas still smiling quietly. Dean pulled Cas’ head forward, until their foreheads were touching. They stayed like this for what could have been seconds or years, until Dean moved his head that fraction of an inch that made all the difference. Their lips touched, and the tension that had been building for 11 years was finally released. This moment was more magical than any spell, any magic, any demon or archangel or witch or ghoul. In this moment two people meant for each other, two people so madly in love that one sacrificed their life for the other, one fell from heaven for the other, finally professed their love. Two people who found their home, their heaven in the each other. Two people, human and angel, hunter and warrior, sinner and saint, finally met in the middle for an instant that would change their lives forever. They found their light in the dark, they hand to hold, their love. And they never, never let it go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, if so leave some kudos and/or a comment! :)  
> 


End file.
